Loud Campfire
by SquidbaggerOfWoomyAndNgyesness
Summary: A parody of the Campfire Episode from SpongeBob, featuring the 2nd Generation Louds and their friends.


_"Location: Royal Woods, The World Of Nickelodeon, March 3rd 2134"_

It was another weekend in Royal Woods. At Loud Park, Linka and Claudia were inside Linka, Ronaldo, Rosa, Lincoln, and Ronnie Anne's house, preparing for a camp out. Linka looked at the list of things they were going to use.

"Sleeping bags?" Linka asked.

"Check." Claudia replied, folding the sleeping bags.

"Marshmallows." Linka asked.

"Check." Claudia replied.

"What about the tent?" Linka asked.

"It's outside." Claudia replied.

"Good. Okay, Claudia, let's go camping." Linka said.

* * *

Lexx and Londey were in their, Lola, and Winston's living room, relaxing.

"Ah, the weekend is here. And this isn't just any weekend. Linka and Claudia are going camping today." Lexx said happily.

"But what if they got lost in the woods and never came back?" Londey asked, worried.

She imagined her cousin and friend, lost in the woods.

"That would be horrible!" Londey said.

"Relax, Londey. I'm sure they'll be fine. Besides, the two of got the whole house to ourselves since Mom and Dad are out working all weekend." Lexx said.

Londey thought for a moment.

"Hey, it's been a while since we've been camping. Maybe we should join them." Londey said.

"No thanks. I'm more comfortable inside." Lexx said.

"Alright, suit yourself. I'll join them." Londey said.

The blonde haired girl got out a camping hat and went to join the two girls. Lina and Leif happened to also be outside when they noticed their cousin.

"Hey, Londey. Where are you going?" Lina asked.

"I'm going camping with Linka and Claudia." Londey replied.

"Cool. Can we join? We've got nothing exciting to do right now." Leif asked.

"Sure." Londey replied.

The other cousins, along with Gloom, Lizy, and Charon, showed up.

"Hey, we want to join too." Lizy said.

"Of course! We wouldn't want to miss you." Leif said.

The assembled group went and told Linka and Claudia that they wanted to join the campout.

"Well, this was going to be girl's-only campout, but sure, let's make it a sibling/friend campout!" Linka said.

Claudia glanced at their tent.

"Yeah, though we're gonna need a bigger tent." Claudia said.

"We can use that inflatable tent we just bought recently." Charon suggested.

"Great." Linka said.

* * *

Later, Lexx was in his house's living room, watching TV.

"Well, looks like I have the whole house to myself." Lexx said.

Suddenly, Lexx heard guitar playing coming from outside.

"Huh?" Lexx asked in confusion.

Luke was performing some Mic Swagger song on his guitar. Lexx poked his head into the tent.

"Hey, I thought you guys were supposed to go camping." Lexx said.

"We are camping." Ronaldo replied.

"Ronaldo, it's not camping if you're ten feet away from your house." Lexx said.

"It doesn't matter where you camp. As long as you're outdoors, it's camping." Loki said.

"Yeah. While all those soft city folks are inside watching TV, we're out here pitting ourselves against the formidable forces of nature." Liby said.

"Wanna join us?" Lane asked.

"No." Lexx replied.

"Okay. Have fun inside." Leif said.

Lexx leaves. Luke prepared to perform again, but Lexx quickly came back.

"What do you mean "have fun inside"?" Lexx asked suspiciously.

"Just have fun inside. See you tomorrow." Leif replied.

"Oh. Bye." Lexx said.

Luke attempted to perform again, but Lexx came back again.

"You little sneak. I see what you're doing." Lexx said.

"What?" Leif asked.

"Don't think I can't see what you're doing." Lexx replied.

"What?" Leif asked.

"You're saying I can't take it." Lexx replied.

"But all I said was..." Leif started to say.

"Ah, you're saying I'm soft. You think your little have fun inside challenge is gonna make me come camping with you. But that is never going to happen. There's no way I'm gonna stay out here all night with you guys, so get used to it." Lexx said.

The boy left.

"Okay... have fun inside." Leif said.

Lexx came back.

"THAT'S IT! I'M IN!" Lexx yelled.

The boy ran back inside his house to get camping equipment.

"I'll show you camping." Lexx growled.

"Lexx is gonna come camping with us!" Londey said happily.

After three minutes, Lexx came back with his camping gear on his back. The others came out of the tent.

"Now I'll show you how a real camper does it." Lexx said.

He suddenly fell over, since his camping gear was heavy. He got back up and pulled out something.

"Here we go. My remote controlled self assembling tent. Watch and learn." Lexx said.

Bebe got out binoculars, while Liena got out a notepad and pencil. Lexx threw the tent in the air and pulled out a remote. He pressed a button, but the power fizzled and the tent fell to the floor, unassembled.

"That was great, Lexx. How do you get inside? It's all crushy-looking." Loni asked.

"It isn't put up yet, idiot." Lexx replied.

He grabbed the tent and tried to set it up, but accidentally ripped it.

"Customization!" Bebe exclaimed.

"Genius!" Liena added.

Lexx started hitting the tent with a stick.

"He's tendering the ground!" Bebe announced.

"Of course." Liena said.

Lexx started getting tangled up in the tent.

"Write that down! Write that down!" Bebe ordered.

Liena nodded. However, the girl was just drawing Lexx on her notepad. Lexx finally put up the tent by kicking it.

"Yes!" Lexx cheered.

The tent suddenly fell apart. He rolled it away sheepishly.

"Lexx, you can just chill in our tent. There's more room in there." Lemy said.

"Yeah, sure. Well, I worked up an appetite as big as all outdoors. Time for a little grub. I suppose Leif is gonna stew up some twigs and rocks." Lexx said.

"Ew, no! Not even Mom and I would eat those. We've got something better." Leif said.

He pulled out the bag of marshmallows.

"Marshmallows." Leif said.

He ate one.

"Oh boy. Just like the astronauts eat." Lupe said excitedly.

Suddenly, Rosa was wearing a fake astronaut helmet. She made a static sound.

"Rosa to Lupe. Rosa to Lupe. Do you read me? Over." Rosa asked.

Lupe put on a fake astronaut helmet of her own. She made a static sound.

"Lupe to Rosa. I read you. Over." Lupe replied.

"(Static) Rosa to Lupe. I like going (static). Over." Rosa said.

"(Static) Lupe to Rosa. (Static) Me too." Lupe said.

The two cousins repeatedly made static noises, annoying Lexx. Lyra joined in.

"(Static) Lyra to Lupe. Help yourself. Over." Lyra said.

The Classical-loving girl handed Lupe the bag of marshmallows.

"Yummy!" Lupe said.

She took off her helmet and ate a marshmallow.

"The deliciousness has landed." Lupe said.

Lexx took out a can.

"Well, you astronauts can eat marshmallows all you want. I'm gonna have some Swedish meatballs. Just as soon as I get a can opener." Lexx said.

He turned to the house to head inside.

"Lexx, didn't you take the can opener when you hiked out here?" Lars asked.

"Why bother? We're ten feet from Linka's house." Lexx asked.

"But this is the wilderness. It just doesn't fit the camping spirit." Loni replied.

"Pretty weeny." Lynn III said.

"Alright, gimme a marshmallow." Lexx ordered.

Lacy ignited a campfire by releasing a Fire spell from her Dark Keyblade, and everyone sat down around it, heating their marshmallows. Liena heated her marshmallow too close to the fire and it burned. She gave a cry and blew it too hard, and the gooey treat splattered onto Lexx's face. The boy whipped it off. Liena heated up another marshmallow too close to the fire. She blew on it once again and it splattered onto Lexx's face again. The annoyed blonde whipped it off. Lexx did the same thing with another marshmallow, but Lexx managed to duck when she blew it in his direction. Lexx smiled and laughed smugly, until the marshmallow somehow came back and splattered on the back of his head. He frowned and wiped it off.

"Okay, besides blowing molten food at me, what else do you guys do for fun?" Lexx asked.

Luke took out his guitar.

"Well, after a long day of camping, it's great to unwind to a nice relaxing campfire song. I call this one the Campfire Song song." Luke replied.

The teenager began to play his guitar and sing.

"Let's gather round the campfire and sing our campfire song. Our C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song. And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong, but it'll help if you just sing along!" Luke sang.

Liena sang along.

"Bum bum bum!" Liena sang.

Luke sang faster. His siblings, cousins, and friends tried to sing too, but they couldn't quite sing it right.

"C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! And if you don't think that we can sing it faster, then you're wrong, but it'll help if you just sing along! C-A-M-P-F-I-R-E S-O-N-G song! Everybody sing!" Luke sang.

Everyone except Lexx sang along.

"You too, Lexx." Lacy ordered.

The boy remained silent.

"Good." Lacy said.

"It'll help! It'll help if you just sing along!" Luke sang.

Liby assisted Luke with his song by playing a set of drums. Lexx wondered where she even got them from, but didn't ask. Luke leaped and played a guitar riff. Liby ran up to him and smashed the drums onto Luke. The brown haired teenager popped through the drums.

"OH YEAH!" Luke yelled.

The song ended.

"Now wasn't that relaxing?" Luke asked.

Lexx took out a clarinet.

"No. This is relaxing." Lexx replied.

He began to play. Loan and Liby panicked.

"Oh no! Don't worry, Lexx, I'll save you!" Loan shouted.

The Latino teenager grabbed a marshmallow and used a slingshot to aim it at Lexx. The marshmallow went straight through the clarinet and into Lexx's mouth. The boy got an odd look on his face and fell on his back, with the clarinet still in his mouth. The other children gasped. Loan rushed to her cousin.

"Lexx, are you okay? Just chew and swallow." Loan ordered.

Lexx chewed and swallowed the marshmallow, as instructed.

"There. Better?" Loan asked.

"Better? I was literally just fine until you threw that ballistic junk food into my windpipe!" Lexx replied angrily.

"But I... I had to. It's too dangerous to be playing the clarinet badly out in the wilderness. It might attract..." Loan started to say.

She leaned closer to Lexx.

"A bear." Loan whispered.

"A bear? Really? Where did you hear that from?" Lexx asked.

Claudia pulled out a magazine.

"It says so in The Royal Woods Inquirer." Claudia replied.

Lexx looked at the cover title.

"Killer mama bears attack awful clarinet players." Lexx read out loud.

"Yeah, and Fake Science Monthly. Me and Lupe saw this." Levi added, pulling out a magazine.

"Bears and unicorns: Beware!" Lexx read.

"We discussed this earlier today, so now we know how to protect ourselves." Linka said,

"Okay, unicorns don't exist and bears live in the forest. They're not going to hear my clarinet playing from here." Lexx said.

"Trust me, Lexx, bears have strong hearing when it comes to playing music badly." Linka said.

"She's right. I knew this guy, who knew this guy, who this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy, who knew this guy's cousin..." Claudia started to say.

"You're right! I should be more careful. So why don't you tell me what I shouldn't do if I want to keep the bears away?" Lexx asked.

"Okay, that's easy. First off, don't play your clarinet." Leif replied.

"Okay, then what?" Lexx asked.

"Never wave your flashlight back and forth really fast." Gloom replied.

"Flashlights are their natural prey." Leif added.

"Don't stomp around. They take that as a challenge." Linka explained.

"Go on." Lexx ordered, taking notes.

"Never eat cheese." Charon said.

"Sliced or cubed?" Lexx asked.

The rest of the group whispered to each other.

"Cubed. Sliced is fine." Liby replied.

"Yeah, yeah, and?" Lexx asked.

"Never wear a sombrero in a goofy fashion." Loni replied.

"Or clown shoes." Loki added.

"Or a hoop skirt." Lizy added.

"And never ever ever ever screech like a chimpanzee!" Linka and Claudia said together.

"Wow. It's amazing how many things can set a bear off." Lexx said.

"They're horrible." Leon and Lani said simultaneously.

"And suddenly, I fear that we're all in danger." Lexx said, worried.

"Why?" Lane asked.

"I don't know." Lexx replied.

He ran and came back with a sombrero, a flashlight, a plate with cubed cheese, a hooped skirt, and clown shoes.

"Just a feeling!" Lexx added.

"No." Loan said with widened eyes.

"Yes." Lexx said mischievously.

"No!" Loan said.

Lexx started screeching.

"Lexx, please don't!" the other children yelled.

Lexx began screeching and stomping, while waving his flashlight.

"Guys, what do we do? A bear is sure to come and eat us!" Loan asked nervously.

"Don't worry, guys! I'll draw us an anti-bear circle in the dirt." Lizy replied.

She grabbed a stick and started drew a circle around herself and the others.

"Good thinking, Lizy!" Charon said. He pulled out a magazine and said "All the experts say it's the only defense against a bear attack."

The group sat down and cuddled each other. Lexx stopped and laughed.

"You guys are so gullible! If this stuff is for real, why didn't one show up?" Lexx asked smugly.

"Maybe it's because you're not wearing your sombrero in a goody fashion." Lupa replied.

Lexx scoffed at the witch girl.

"Oh, sorry. How silly of me. You mean like this?" Lexx asked.

He tilted his sombrero and started laughing. Suddenly, something's arm reached up and put Lexx's sombrero upside down. It was a bear.

"No. Like that." Lupa replied.

Lexx noticed the bear. The bear roared, and Lexx screamed and ran away. The bear chased after him and beat him up. It left when it was done.

"Lexx, are you okay?" Liena asked.

Lexx groaned, all bruised up.

"No." Lexx replied weakly.

Linka and the others stood up and carried the dirt circle with them.

"Quick! Jump in our anti-bear circle before he comes back!" Linka ordered.

"Yeah, bears often attack more than once." Claudia added.

Lexx stood up and limped.

"Are you crazy? A dirt circle won't stop that monster! I'm running for my life!" Lexx shouted.

He started running back to the house again.

"NO!" the other children yelled.

It was too late. The bear came back and attacked Lexx again, before leaving.

"Don't run! They hate that!" Lemy said.

"Thanks for the tip. I guess I'll just limp home, then." Lexx said in pain.

"NO!" the other children yelled.

The bear came back again and attacked Lexx again, before leaving.

"They despise limping more than running!" Levi said.

Lexx attempted to head inside again by crawling.

"Well, I guess I'll just.." Lexx started to say.

The bear came back and mauled Lexx, before leaving.

"I should have warned you about crawling." Linka said.

Then the bear came back and beat up Lexx, before leaving.

"What did I do that time?" Lexx asked.

"I don't know. I guess he just doesn't like you." Lane replied.

"Pretend to be someone else!" Claudia suggested.

"Here! Draw a circle in the dirt!" Liby ordered.

She threw a stick to her younger cousin.

"Okay." Lexx said weakly.

The bear came back and attacked again, before leaving.

"That was an oval! It has to be a circle!" Lyra said.

"Move over!" Lexx shouted.

He jumped into their circle. The bear came back and growled angrily at Lexx, but then noticed the circle around the group. The bear glared at Lexx, before leaving.

"It worked! You guys saved my life!" Lexx said happily.

"Hooray!" the group cheered.

"Yeah, I'm glad it was just a bear. This circle would never hold back a rhinoceros." Lacy said.

"What attracts them?" Lexx asked.

"The sound of a bear attack." Claudia replied.

Suddenly, a rhinoceros was right in front of the kids.

"Heh. Good thing we're all wearing our rhinoceros undergarments." Linka said.

"Yeah!" the other children, except Lexx, said.

"Right, Lexx?" Leif asked.

"Huh?" Lexx asked in a worried tone.


End file.
